Been checking out the codependant lists to see if I fit the criteria. I think my worst fault in them is not having my own life outside of the family. I have been using Joe's drinking as an excuse to not work or do things outside the home. I do not feel very comfortable leaving him with the kids for extended periods of time. He seems so stressed already that I don't want to add to it but I am not sure we can go on much longer like this. We are in a mess and I am not seeing a clear way out. I definately have self esteem issues when it comes to work. I do not feel I have any skills and am not sure what I could do if something were to happen and I had to support myself. I feel unsafe when Joe drinks and I don't think he understands that. I try to keep people away from him when he is drinking and can see a future where the kids will do the same. He can be embarassing. He would say that I am not on his side for saying that but it is hard to stand up for someone who is drunk. I'll have to come back to this post as I go through the list somemore.
8/13/2012
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